SNOWY MOUNTAIN SYNDROME

“We’re screwed.”

Haruhi gave a rather frank assessment of our current situation as she walked ahead of me.

“Can’t see a thing.”

You want to know where we are? We went to a remote island during summer vacation. Now guess where Haruhi would want to go over winter vacation.

“That’s odd.”

I could hear Koizumi’s voice from his position at the end of our group.

“My sense of distance tells me that we should have reached the foot of the mountain a while ago.”

Here’s a hint. We’re in a cold and white place.

“I’m freezing…brr.”

The howling wind made it difficult to catch her words. I looked behind me to confirm that the girl in skiwear was waddling along like a duckling. I gave her a nod of encouragement before turning back to the front.

“…”

I got the feeling that Nagato’s strides were growing heavier as she led the way. White crystal snow was sticking to our ski boots so that more accumulated with every step taken. Where would such a phenomenon occur?

This is too much effort. I’ll just give you the answer.

An expanse of white as far as the eye can see with icy snow in every direction.

Yes, we were clearly on a snowy mountain.

We’d arrived at a ski lodge in the middle of a blizzard, and now we were stranded on this snowy mountain—that would be the most accurate description of our current situation.

Now then. Who arranged for this scenario? For once, I was hoping that this whole mess was scripted. Otherwise the five of us would simply freeze to death and our frozen corpses wouldn’t be discovered until spring, when the snow melted.

Koizumi, deal with this.

“Easier said than done.”

Koizumi looked down at his compass.

“We should be going in the right direction. Nagato’s navigation is impeccable. Yet we’ve been unable to find our way off this mountain after trudging through the snow for hours. Completely unthinkable under normal circumstances, wouldn’t you say?”

So what’s going on here? We’re never getting out of this?

“I am positive that unnatural forces are at work here. There was no way to predict this happening. Nagato doesn’t know the cause either. After all, we only know that this was entirely unexpected.”

I can figure that out for myself. If we can’t find our way back with Nagato in the lead, something’s definitely wrong.

Again? Did Haruhi have another one of her worthless ideas?

“That is not a certainty at the moment. I have a hunch that Suzumiya would never desire the occurrence of such a phenomenon.”

How can you be so sure?

“After all, Suzumiya was looking forward to a murder mystery drama playing out at the mountain lodge. I had everything planned out to accommodate her expectations.”

There was a “murder game” planned for this winter ski trip, as a follow-up to the one the preceding summer. The previous attempt had been more along the lines of a prank that failed, while this time we were simply playing detective with everyone knowing beforehand that the crime was staged. In fact, the cast from the first take had made a reappearance, with Arakawa the butler, Mori the maid, and the Tamaru brothers acting in the same roles as before.

“You have a point…”

I mean, Haruhi was dying to identify the killer and reveal her brilliant deduction, so she wouldn’t subconsciously wish for something to happen that night that would prevent us from returning to the lodge.

On top of that, Tsuruya and my sister, who served as temporary extras on occasion, along with Shamisen, were waiting for us to return.

Truth be told, the lodge we were staying at belonged to the Tsuruya family. That bright and cheerful young lady offered to provide lodging on the condition that she could tag along. Shamisen was needed as a prop for the scheme Koizumi had cooked up, and my sister attached herself to my luggage. The pair of girls plus one animal weren’t part of the motley crew stranded out here. Shamisen was probably curled up in front of the fireplace while Tsuruya was keeping my skiing-impaired sister company building snowmen. That was the last I had seen of them.

The three of them were essentially junior SOS Brigade members, as far as Haruhi was concerned. There was no reason for any of us to be against the idea of seeing them again, and that went double for Haruhi.

So why? Why weren’t we able to return to the heated lodge that was serving as the SOS Brigade winter vacation site?

If Nagato’s powers weren’t enough to get us to our destination, what was going on here?

“We ran into a hurricane last summer, and now we have a blizzard…”

Was there some kind of rule that stated that we were required to encounter logic-defying phenomena every time our school had an extended period of vacation?

I was feeling a mix of doubt and unease as I recalled our past adventures.

“Why did things turn out this way?”

That would be the cue to switch to flashback mode.

………

……

… 

   

It was more or less inevitable that we would go on a trip during winter vacation. I mean, we wouldn’t have been any less surprised by its happening if we had somehow been able to see the future.

After all, it had been loudly announced on the ferry ride back from the remote island murder tour (hurricane included), which had started on the first day of summer vacation. By whom? Who else but Haruhi. The rest of us had no choice but to accept her declaration, while Koizumi was named the tour guide.

I’d been hoping that Haruhi might find something else more interesting by the time winter came around, but our brigade chief apparently had an excellent memory when it came to having fun.

“Counting down to the new year in a blizzard.”

Haruhi distributed a number of stapled papers before grinning at us the way a kidnapper would at a child.

“We’ll be going to a snow lodge this winter, just as planned. Part two of our magical mystery tour!”

This was taking place in the clubroom on the twenty-fourth, right after the closing ceremony. A bubbling ceramic pot sat atop the portable gas stove that was sitting on the long table as we tossed an assortment of ingredients into the pot to serve as our lunch.

Haruhi was adding meat, fish, and vegetables in the wrong order while Asahina the maid, with a scarf around her head, was using a pair of long chopsticks to dish out the food after letting it drain a bit. The rest of the SOS Brigade, Nagato, Koizumi, and I, simply ate, and we were joined by a special guest today.

“Whoa, good stuff! What is this? Munch…is Harls a chef prodigy? Chomp…whew. The broth is exquisite. Slurp.”

It was Tsuruya. The owner of that cheerful voice was in a virtual eating contest with Nagato the silent connoisseur as she exclaimed with glee at intervals while using her chopsticks to rapidly scoop food from the pot to her plate.

“A hot pot really hits the spot when it’s winter! And it was a riot to see Kyon in that reindeer getup. Man, this day has been a blast!”

You were the only person to appreciate that act, Tsuruya. Haruhi and Koizumi were smirking at me the entire time, while Asahina had covered her face halfway through and started to shake with mirth. Nagato was clearly wondering where the humor was, an exceedingly logical response. Honestly, the experience was so nerve-racking that I was dripping cold sweat the entire time. I clearly lacked the necessary talent for making people laugh. Not that I ever had any intention to become an entertainer, but whatever.

Tsuruya wasn’t here as part of the hot pot spectacle or to chaperone Asahina. As for why she was our special guest today…

“So about that snowstorm lodge.”

Haruhi had upgraded the modifier from “snow” to “snowstorm.”

“Rejoice, Kyon. Guess what? Tsuruya is letting us use her vacation home for free. I hear that the location’s fantastic. Can’t wait to see it! Here, chow down.”

Haruhi tossed a chunk of pork onto Tsuruya’s plate and dropped a piece of fish that had finished cooking onto her own plate.

“I usually go with my family.”

Tsuruya threw the chunk of pork into her mouth and swallowed it whole.

“But this year the ’rents are in Europe on a business trip. They’ll be finished in three days and the whole family will be going to Switzerland to ski afterward! So I’ll take you guys to the vacation home with me! Sounds like it’ll be a blast!”

Tsuruya must have heard Asahina mention Haruhi’s winter plans at some point and offered to provide lodging. Koizumi was probably standing by to jump at the first opportunity presented, so he wrote up a vacation plan and presented it to Haruhi, who jumped with joy like a cat receiving sashimi.

“I’ve got something here for Tsuruya!”

She withdrew a plain armband from her desk and labeled it HONORARY ADVISOR before handing it over. Right.

Speaking of Koizumi, he was smiling as he watched Haruhi, Nagato, and Tsuruya dig in like this was some kind of eating contest before he apparently noticed the look on my face.

“Please rest assured. There won’t be any surprises this time. Everyone will be aware that we are merely playing a game of detective. In fact, we will be using the same members as before.”

Arrangements had been made for Arakawa the butler, Mori the maid, and the Tamaru brothers to put on another show for us. I guess that works, but what do those people even do for a living? Are they desk jockeys at your “Agency” thing?

“They are all actors I happen to be acquainted with from a small troupe…Would that satisfy your curiosity?”

If Haruhi’s willing to accept that story, I’ll take it.

“Suzumiya does not concern herself with the details as long as she is having fun, though the provision of entertainment would be the greatest hurdle before us…My stomach begins to hurt when I worry if my script will be to her liking.”

Koizumi clutched at his stomach in an exaggerated gesture, but the smile on his face made it clear that he wasn’t even trying to act like he was in pain.

I believed myself to be a better human than Haruhi, so I couldn’t ignore reality the way she did and party away without a concern. I glanced around the room for something that might alleviate my worries before spotting Nagato and the blank look on her face. Your typical Nagato. The Nagato I was accustomed to was chomping away at the hot pot as if nothing had ever happened.

“…”

In any case, I thought.

For once, we should prevent the situation from deteriorating to a point where any strain would be placed on Nagato. No, we were obligated to do so. Though experience would tell us that we should be safe this time. Nagato hadn’t been required to perform any spectacular feats during our summer camp. I could only hope that this winter trip would be the same. Leave the hard work to Koizumi and his people.

As I considered this, I looked down at the documents before me.

According to the schedule on these sheets of paper, our departure was set for December thirtieth. The day before New Year’s Eve. The snowy mountain itself wasn’t that far away. A few hours of bumpy train riding would get us there on the same day.

In any case, once we arrived the rest of that day would be spent skiing, followed by a party (no alcohol allowed) that night. The arrangements for food preparation were similar to those on the summer island, as Arakawa the butler (who was more convincing than a real butler, despite being a fake) and Sonoh Mori (the fake maid) were in charge. The two Tamaru brothers would arrive the next morning, which would lead us to the prelude of our little detective game.

We would spend New Year’s Eve analyzing the case and deducing the trick behind it before assembling at midnight to present our individual theories concerning the “Poisoned Chocolate Incident,” with Koizumi playing the role of the mastermind who would reveal the solution in a nonchalant manner. And then we would all be filled with this sense of relief as we bid farewell to the old year and welcomed the new. Glad to see you!

At least, that was the plan.

I looked up to see Haruhi practically beaming at me. I’m no longer surprised by her ability to gloat before she’s actually accomplished anything.

“We’ll ring in the new year with a bang.”

Haruhi was in the process of snatching up a leek with her chopsticks.

“I’m sure that the new year will appreciate our efforts and make this year a good one. I guarantee it. I can sense that the upcoming year will be a turning point for the SOS Brigade.”

I don’t really care about your personifying years, but I doubt that your definition of a good year would be good for the rest of us.

“Really? I was thinking that the past year was a lot of fun and hoping that next year would be the same. You don’t agree? Oh, Mikuru. The broth in the hot pot’s boiling down, so add some more water.”

“Ah, right away.”

Asahina pranced over to the kettle.

“Oof.”

She heaved the heavy-looking kettle above the hot pot and carefully tipped it over.

As I watched her graceful movements, I reflected on everything that had happened in the past year, which made me hesitate for a moment. Haruhi had said that the past year was a lot of fun. If you were to ask me if I thought the past year was fun, my answer would be obvious.

After all, I’d started off as a kid who longed for the mysterious and unknown. I just wanted an experience that involved aliens or anything along those lines. It wouldn’t make sense for me to not be happy about my fantasies’ becoming reality. Still, I wouldn’t expect such events to continue regularly.

However, despite all that, this was how I felt on the inside.

Yeah, it was fun.

I could confidently say that now. It took a considerable amount of time for me to reach this point. But to be completely honest, I would have preferred a little more peace and quiet. Personally, a few more intervals of relaxation in the clubroom would have been nice.

“You say such weird things.”

Haruhi’s cheeks were stuffed with fish liver.

“We’ve been having a blast this whole time. You haven’t had enough fun yet? Then we should party hard before the year ends.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

She didn’t know about the ordeals I’d experienced and how I’d managed to survive them. I’d had to win a baseball game, end summer vacation, restore the distortions to reality that had come from the movie, go back and forth between past and present, and establish the fact that I will need to return to the past again in the future. The choice had been my own, so I couldn’t blame anybody else, but I was ridiculously busy this time of year for somebody who wasn’t planning on becoming a teacher.

Well, not that I could say any of this to Haruhi.

“We’ll have time to party after we get to that mountain lodge.”

I brushed aside Haruhi’s extended chopsticks as I plucked some cabbage from the hot pot. It wasn’t every day you got a chance to have some of Haruhi’s special hot pot. I needed to fill my stomach before the females of the group (excluding Asahina) with their voracious appetites devoured all the food. Didn’t know when I’d get another chance to enjoy such a feast.

“I guess.”

Haruhi was in a good humor as she heaped beef tripe onto her own plate.

“We need to light up the place with our partying. Got it? New Year’s Eve only happens once a year. Just think about it. We only get to experience a certain day of a certain year once in our lifetime. The same goes for today. Today will never come back once it’s gone. That’s why you’re obligated to live every day to the fullest so you have no regrets. I’m determined to make every single day of my life unforgettable.”

Haruhi’s idealistic sermon drew a quick response from the adjacent Tsuruya, who was sinking her teeth into some half-cooked chicken.

“Wow. Harls, you can remember everything that happened 365 days a year? Wowzers. Mikuru, give me some tea!”

“Ah, right away!”

Asahina held the teapot in one hand as she carefully poured green tea into the guest teacup Tsuruya was holding up, looking rather happy as she performed the task. Haruhi was having fun arbitrarily administering the hot pot, Koizumi had a rather elegant smile on his face as the steam emitted from the hot pot, and Nagato simply dug in without making a sound. Tsuruya, the honorary advisor, was here as a temporary brigade member, but for the most part this was your typical SOS Brigade atmosphere.

I now understood the true value of these brief moments we shared. Having chosen this world, I was more or less guaranteed to encounter more bizarre happenings that involved Haruhi. At the very least, I’d expect to run into a couple more of these before everything was said and done.

Besides, we haven’t come across any sliders yet.

“If you plan on making an appearance, just bring it.”

I accidentally said that out loud, but apparently nobody could hear me over the ruckus of Haruhi and Tsuruya fighting over mushrooms.

However, I have a feeling that Nagato’s eyelashes twitched ever so slightly.

I glanced over at the window to see that snow was trickling down slowly, as if against the sky’s will. Koizumi must have followed my gaze.

“Once you reach our destination, you’ll have enough snow to play with until you’re sick of it. Incidentally, do you prefer skiing or snowboarding? I happen to be in charge of arranging for the implements we will use.”

“Never snowboarded before.”

I tossed him a halfhearted reply as I looked away from the winter sky. Koizumi still had that neutral smile on his face, though it seemed a bit forced.

“Now then, are you staring at the falling snow or thinking of a certain girl whose name happens to mean ‘snow’ in another language…”

It was clear that there was nothing to gain from exchanging glances with Koizumi. I shrugged and joined the battle for mushrooms.

   

We got away with the forbidden gas stove without being discovered by any teachers or tattletale students, though it was possible they noticed and chose to ignore us. Either way, we ate until we were stuffed, cleaned up the pot, utensils, and trash, and left the clubroom. By the time we exited the school building the light snow had stopped.

After bidding farewell to Tsuruya, who had to attend a party at her home, the SOS Brigade members headed to the bakery. Once we picked up the extra-large cake Haruhi had ordered, we set off to Nagato’s apartment.

Not because we felt bad about Nagato spending Christmas Eve all by herself, but because Nagato, who lived alone, had offered the ideal place for eating cake and going wild. I couldn’t be sure if Koizumi, tasked with bringing Twister, or I, carrying the cake box, got the better deal, but Haruhi was clearly in a joyous mood as she skipped ahead of our little group. Her cheer had apparently spread to Asahina, whom Haruhi would swing around from time to time, and Nagato, who silently shuffled along.

It seemed that we wouldn’t have to worry about a blizzard of Santa Clauses instead of snow. Haruhi certainly appeared to be satisfied as she enjoyed this very ordinary Christmas Eve. She was in the same mental state as my sister. Just for today though, probably.

I shouldn’t need to explain the reason I was feeling so tolerant this time of year. Haruhi could suddenly propose that we go Santa hunting and roam the night streets, and I would simply join her with a mocking smile on my face.

It was undeniably true that every one of us appeared to be having fun as we played the various games Koizumi had brought to Nagato’s soundproof room. Two laptops were hooked up for a <The Day of Sagittarius 3> tournament that was dominated by Nagato. I found myself jostling with Haruhi in a game of Twister. It was such a crazy night that we were on the verge of inviting in random couples who happened to be passing by—

   

And that was essentially how our Christmas Eve went.

* * *

The period between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve flew by so fast that I had to wonder if Haruhi was pushing time along. During that time we did a massive cleanup of the clubroom and I received a puzzling phone call from a former middle school classmate that resulted in my going to watch a football game. When all was said and done, the new year was knocking on our door.

A new year, huh? I wonder what’s going to happen. Personally, I need to do something about my grades or I’ll be in serious trouble.

My mother wasn’t being very subtle about her desire to send me to a cram school, so this would be the perfect opportunity to use my participation on a healthy sports team or in an official club of some sort as an excuse, but since I was a member of an unofficial and incomprehensible association that basically lounged around—at least, that was how it looked to other people—I could understand why someone would question the presence of a student with poor grades but planned on going to college.

For some reason Haruhi had ridiculously good grades, and based on the finals we just took Koizumi would also be considered smart. Asahina was also a diligent student, though it was possible that she was interested in studying ancient practices. And I shouldn’t need to say anything about Nagato’s grades.

“Well, I’ll deal with it later.”

First, I needed to make sure this winter trip was a success. That would be my only focus for now. I could do my studying in the next year. Since our mountain lodge countdown party had to start in this one.

And so, on that note—

“Off we go!”

Haruhi was yelling at the top of her lungs.

“Yahoo!”

Tsuruya was just as hyper.

“The weather at our destination is ideal for skiing at the moment.”

Koizumi delivered an update on the forecast.

“So we’re going skiing? As in the skiing where you glide on snow?”

Asahina lifted her chin, which was tightly secured by a scarf.

“…”

Nagato stood perfectly still with a small bag in one hand.

“Yay!”

My sister was jumping around.

We were in front of the station early this morning. We would be taking a train from here and switching to a connecting train before reaching the snowy mountain that was our destination at a little past noon. Which was fine, but why was my sister here when she wasn’t supposed to be…?

“Who cares? Can’t do anything about her tagging along. The easiest solution would be to bring her with us. She probably won’t get in our way.”

Haruhi hunched down and smiled at my sister.

“If it were somebody I didn’t care about, I’d just chase them away, but your sister’s a sweet girl, unlike you, so I’m perfectly fine with this. She also helped us out with the movie, and Shamisen will have someone to play with this way.”

Yes, our family calico cat was a member of this trip. I shall refer you to the SOS Brigade’s travel planner for an explanation.

“We will need a cat for the gimmick used in this particular mystery.”

Something along the lines of The Cat Who…, I’m guessing.

Koizumi had taken a seat on his own luggage.

“A random cat would have sufficed, but Shamisen did an admirable job of acting when we were filming the movie. I was hoping for an encore performance.”

The present Shamisen is just your typical domesticated cat that can’t speak. You probably shouldn’t expect much from him. I looked over at Haruhi, whose nose was practically touching my sister’s.

“And as a result, she spotted me leaving.”

Our departure was early in the morning and I had already told my mother to keep mum about the trip, so I wasn’t very worried at the time. Since I figured that my sister didn’t realize I was going on a trip with Haruhi and everybody else. But a surprising pitfall awaited me. I was in my room, stowing the slumbering Shamisen in a cat carrier, when my sister walked in for some inexplicable reason. She must have gone to the bathroom and, being half-asleep, stumbled into my room by mistake on her way back.

Things took off from there. My sister’s eyes suddenly opened wide.

“Where are you taking Shami? Why are you dressed like that? Why are you packing?”

Wow, she’s annoying. And after my eleven-year-old sister threw a fit that was exponentially worse than the one last summer, she latched onto my bag with both arms and legs like an oddly colored shellfish adhered to a rock.

“We can manage to accommodate another person,” Koizumi said with a smile. “One additional child isn’t going to put us over budget. I would agree with Suzumiya. There is no point in sending her home after she’s come all the way out here.”

My sister had finished jostling with Haruhi and proceeded to bury her face in Asahina’s ample bosom and hug Nagato’s perfectly still legs and shake, before she finally started squealing with laughter as Tsuruya swung her around.

Good thing I have a sister. If she were my brother, I’d have to take her to the back alley this very second.

* * *

My sister didn’t slow down at all as she spent the duration of the express train ride to the snowy mountain jumping around us with glee and wasting energy. If she’s too hyper now, she’ll be tired out by the time we reach our destination, which means that I’ll have to carry my sleeping sister once again, not that I would be able to accomplish anything by telling her this. Haruhi and Tsuruya were just as excited as she was and even the normally reserved Asahina seemed to be uncharacteristically enthusiastic about this trip. And Nagato of all people had given up on reading the paperback that she soon stuffed back into her bag, and she stared at my sister in silence.

I had my cheek against the window as I watched the scenery race by. Koizumi sat in the aisle seat next to me while Haruhi and the other girls sat in the seats before us. They turned the front row around so they would be facing one another and the five of them were now playing Uno. Don’t make too much noise. You’ll disturb the other passengers.

Koizumi and I were the odd ones out, left to play two-person old maid, but we soon gave up because it was too pointless. Why should a couple of guys have to entertain each other in this situation?

It would be more constructive to satiate my mental palate by fantasizing about how Asahina will look in ski gear. And then I proceeded to consider how I might manipulate the situation so the two of us could hit the ski slopes alone.

“Meow.”

There was a sound coming from the pet carrier as a whisker poked through an opening.

After the movie mess was over with, Shamisen transformed into a cat that was so well-behaved you had to question if he actually was a former stray. He would sit and wait for us to bring him food, and he didn’t pester us to play with him constantly. I would say that sleep was his top priority. He’d actually been asleep the whole time since I put him in this pet carrier, but the laziest of cats would still grow bored eventually. He was scratching at the door to signal that sentiment. Naturally I couldn’t let him out while we were still on the train.

“Hang in there a little longer.”

I directed those words toward the carrier at my feet.

“I’ll give you something to munch on once we’re there.”

“Meow.”

That was all it took for him to understand, apparently, as Shamisen once again fell quiet. Koizumi seemed to be impressed.

“I was considerably disturbed when he first started talking, but this cat was clearly the correct choice. And no, I don’t mean that a male calico is particularly lucky. I’m referring to how he’s an understanding and disciplined cat.”

Haruhi was the one who randomly selected him from a swarm of stray cats. And since that managed to result in an extremely rare case, I was tempted to tell her to go buy a lottery ticket. It might help pay for SOS Brigade expenses. I was starting to have second thoughts about mooching off the literary club budget.

“A lottery ticket? Knowing Suzumiya, that would almost certainly complicate matters. Do you realize what could happen if she acquired a million dollars?”

I’d rather not think about it, but I can definitely see her buying a secondhand fighter jet from the American military. I could live with her possessing a single-seat aircraft, but if she managed to get her hands on a two-seater, well, it was pretty obvious who would get stuck in the back.

Or she might splurge on publicity. You’d be sitting back watching some prime-time show when the message THIS SHOW WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SOS BRIGADE would pop up on the screen. I felt a shiver run down my spine when I pictured a commercial that featured us airing on national television right when families typically gathered around the TV. Nothing good could ever happen with Haruhi in a producer position. That was more apparent than the concept of a kindergartner’s failing at the stock market.

“It is entirely possible that she would decide on a course of action that benefits humanity as a whole. Such as setting up a grant for inventions or funding research.”

Koizumi offered what sounded to be a desperately optimistic point of view. Either way, it was never a good idea to gamble. After all, the stakes were too high here. High enough to make those risk-management people hesitate. Unless the reward made the risk worthwhile.

“Just have her buy one of those convenience store ice-cream bars that give you a chance for a second one free. That’ll be enough.”

I returned to enjoying the scenery as Koizumi leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. We would probably be busy upon arrival at our destination, so it would be prudent to preserve my strength right now.

The landscape outside the window grew increasingly rural, and more snow appeared every time we passed through a tunnel. As I watched the scenery fly by, I eventually fell sound asleep.

   

And so the train ride ended and we gathered up our belongings and headed out of the station to find a two-colored sight, a clear blue sky and pristine white snow, along with a familiar-looking twosome who were greeting us in a ridiculously formal fashion.

“Welcome. We have been awaiting your arrival.”

The most impressive butler I’d ever seen bowed deeply.

“You must be tired after the long trip. Please avail yourselves of our hospitality.”

The suspiciously ageless and beautiful maid was also here.

“Hello, and thank you for your efforts.”

Koizumi immediately walked up to stand next to them.

“I believe this would be the first meeting for Tsuruya. Here we have Arakawa and Mori, two acquaintances whom I asked to look after us for the duration of this trip.”

They looked exactly the same as on that remote island last summer. The gray-haired Arakawa in a three-piece suit and Mori in a very plain apron dress that made it clear she was a maid.

“I am Arakawa.”

“I am Mori.”

They both bowed their heads at exactly the same time.

Did they refrain from wearing coats in this bitter cold as part of the performance, or were they so absorbed in their roles that a sense of professionalism kicked in?

Tsuruya was waving a heavy-looking bag around.

“Heya! Hi there. I shouldn’t have anything to worry about if you come recommended by Koizumi. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Feel free to use this lodge as you like!”

“Many thanks.”

Arakawa took another courteous bow before lifting his face and revealing a dignified smile.

“I am pleased to see that everybody is doing well.”

“My apologies for the inconvenience last summer.”

Mori smiled gently as she spoke, and her smile grew softer when she saw my sister.

“My, what an adorable little guest.”

The uninvited guest, my sister, returned to form faster than dried seaweed in boiling water as she gave a little cheer and leaped into Mori’s skirt.

Haruhi had a wide smile on her face as she took a step onto the snow.

“Long time no see. I’m expecting this winter trip to be a blast. We were interrupted by that hurricane last summer so I wasn’t able to fully enjoy myself, but I plan on compensating for that during this winter excursion.”

Then she turned to us cheerfully, as though she had just queened a pawn.

“Now, everybody. We’re going to go all out having fun here! Scrub away all the grime that’s built up over the past year so we can be fresh to go when the new year comes around. You aren’t allowed to bring any regrets into the next year. Got it?!”

We each responded in our own fashion. Tsuruya pumped her fist in the air as she attempted some semblance of a war cry, Asahina nodded nervously while tensing up, Koizumi was still smiling, Nagato didn’t say a word, and my sister was still clinging to Mori.

And I was doing my best to avoid looking at Haruhi and her blindingly brilliant smile.

Nobody would expect a storm when there wasn’t a single cloud in the beautiful blue sky.

At this point in time.

   

We piled into a couple of off-road trucks for the trek to the Tsuruya family vacation home. Arakawa and Mori were driving, which allowed me to deduce that Mori was at least old enough to obtain a driver’s license. This information was actually helpful when you consider that I’d been wondering if she was our age. Not that any ulterior motives were involved here. We already had a hard-working maid in Asahina, so I didn’t feel any particular attachment to Mori. That last part was especially important.

Our journey by automobile through the endless expanse of white didn’t last very long. After fifteen minutes or so our big trucks came to a stop in front of a building that resembled a bed-and-breakfast type of lodge.

“The place certainly has atmosphere.”

Haruhi was the first to hop out of the truck and onto the snow as she expressed her satisfaction.

“This particular vacation home is actually our smallest, though,” Tsuruya remarked. “But I really love the place! It’s a lot more comfortable this way.”

Considering it was located near the train station, with a ski resort within walking distance, I would expect this place to be high-rent. Plus, Tsuruya probably wasn’t joking when she said that it was the smallest of her family’s vacation homes, given that she considered the sprawling Japanese mansion she called home to be the status quo. From a more pedestrian standpoint, this vacation home was just as big as the huge villa on the remote island we had visited the previous summer. How much evil had the Tsuruya family committed to be able to freely build such fancy houses all over the place?

“Welcome, everybody.”

Arakawa the butler was showing us in. He and Mori had received from Tsuruya, along with the keys to the house, permission to come here one day before us, meaning that they had been preparing for our arrival since the previous day. This was largely thanks to Koizumi’s being thorough in his planning and also thanks to Tsuruya’s and her family’s being so open-minded and generous.

As I gratefully entered the entirely wooden building that would certainly be fully booked every season if the Tsuruya family decided to transform their winter vacation home into a public lodge, I had a sudden premonition.

I didn’t really understand what it was. Still, I could clearly feel that vague premonition pass through my mind.

“Hmm…?”

I looked around the interior of the vacation home and was impressed by what I saw.

Haruhi was all smiles as she lavished praise on Tsuruya, and Tsuruya was laughing heartily in return. Koizumi was in a discussion with Arakawa and Mori. My sister had immediately taken Shamisen out of his pet carrier to hold in her arms, and Asahina was setting her belongings on the floor with a sigh of relief while Nagato merely stared at some indiscernible spot in the air.

Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.

We would spend the next few days on a spree of merrymaking disguised as a club foray before returning to our original location to enjoy everyday life…

Or so it should have gone.

The forthcoming murder would only be an act, not real. Haruhi was already aware of this fact, so we wouldn’t need to worry about her going through emotional turmoil. Nagato and Asahina wouldn’t have a role to play in this circus, and Koizumi would never have a chance to use his abnormal powers—

You could even say that this event was completely rigged. Nothing like a shady murder where nobody could guess what might happen. We wouldn’t have to worry about anything out of the ordinary happening, like running into a cave cricket when checking on a person cooped up in his room.

Still, what was this feeling? This unsettling sensation that was like a ghost or some kind of apparition passing through my body. Yes, it reminded me of that odd, gnawing sensation I experienced when I hadn’t yet realized that the second half of summer was in an endless loop. But I wouldn’t consider this to be déjà vu…

“No use.”

The sensation evaded my reach the way a slimy fish would slip out of my grasp.

“Must be my imagination.”

I shook my head and picked up my stuff as I began to ascend the staircase and make my way to the room I had been assigned. The interior wasn’t particularly fancy, but I wasn’t exactly an expert at appraisal. I’m guessing that if I asked how much this simple-looking banister cost to install, I would almost certainly be informed of a material and personnel cost that would make my jaw drop.

I soon reached the second-floor hallway where the bedrooms were.

“Say, Kyon.”

Tsuruya walked over with a smile on her face.

“Mind sharing a room with your sister? Truth be told, there were barely enough rooms for everybody. The attic room I used when I was a child is open, but she’d probably feel lonely if we stuck her up there, yeah?”

“I don’t mind sharing a room with her.”

Haruhi came butting in.

“I just checked our rooms and the beds are huge. You could fit three people side by side with plenty of room to spare. And it would be safer with two girls sharing a room instead, right?”

I don’t see why you think that it would be dangerous for me to share a room with my sister. Sharing a room with Asahina would probably test my mental and spiritual fortitude, but sharing a room with my sister would be the same as sharing a room with Shamisen, as far as I was concerned.

“Well, how about it?”

Haruhi’s question was directed at my sister, who had Shamisen clinging to one shoulder. My sister giggled and blurted out an answer that completely disregarded our previous exchange.

“I wanna sleep in Mikuru’s room.”

 

And so my sister was able to slip into Asahina’s room, which left me to take care of Shamisen in my room. I might as well dump this cat on someone while I’m at it.

“I will have to refuse. Unlike yours, my nerves aren’t strong enough to bear the strain of spending time with a talking cat.”

Koizumi refused my generous offer, which led to Nagato staring at the calico for thirty seconds or so.

“No.”

And with that curt response she turned her back on me.

Well, I could probably just let him wander around the building. Shamisen didn’t seem to pay any heed to the fact that he was in a strange house as he jumped onto my bed the way he did at home and promptly dozed off, despite having slept for most of the train ride. I was tempted to lie down next to him, but our schedule didn’t allow for any breaks, as we had been ordered by Haruhi to assemble downstairs before we even had a chance to settle in.

“Now, let’s go! Skiing!”

I had a feeling that she was moving a little too fast, but we apparently didn’t have a second to waste if we were to light up the place as Haruhi demanded. And the addition of Tsuruya, a regular bundle of energy who could possibly top Haruhi when it came to hyperactivity, only served to double the effect.

Koizumi had rented the skiwear and skis somewhere. I found it odd how he’d managed to take our measurements without our knowing about it. There was even a full set for my sister, who had joined in at the last second, that was a perfect fit. I could picture agents from the “Agency” (black suits and black sunglasses) sneaking into North High and my sister’s grade school and shuffling through student medical records in the nurse’s office. Hmm, I should ask them for Asahina’s measurements later. Not that I would be able to do anything with them, but still, I was curious.

“It’s been forever since I skied,” Haruhi said. “The last time was during an event for kids when I was in grade school. It never snows where we live. Can’t have winter without snow.”

A view that could only come from someone who lived in an area without regular snow. I’m willing to bet that there are plenty of people out there who could live without seeing another snowflake ever again. I would even draw the conclusion that Kenshin Uesugi from the Warring States period would fall into that category.

We marched along in our clumsy boots, carrying our skis, before finally reaching a rather impressive-looking ski slope. Like Haruhi, I hadn’t skied in a long time. Not since middle school, I think. Pretty sure that this was my sister’s first time and it was apparently Asahina’s as well. I was almost positive that Nagato had never skied before, but I was pretty confident that she would be skiing like a pro the second we hit the slopes.

As we rode the lift, I could see skiwear flashing in every color. I was wondering why there weren’t very many people around when Tsuruya elaborated on the reason.

“This place isn’t that famous. Just a quiet place to ski for the people who know about it. After all, this was our private ski resort until ten years ago.”

But it was open to the public now, according to Tsuruya’s explanation, which was completely free of scorn. I guess that there are actually people in this world with charisma, character, money, and pedigree. People so perfect that you can’t do a thing about them.

Once we got off the lift, Haruhi put her skis on and turned to me.

“What are you going to do, Kyon? I’d prefer to head on over to the expert course, but I’m not sure if everybody knows how to ski. Do you?”

“Give us some time to practice.”

I managed to successfully attach the skis to my boots, but my sister and Asahina were tripping over themselves every twelve inches as we watched.

“We need to teach them the basics or else they’ll have trouble getting back on a ski lift, let alone attacking the expert course.”

Asahina, already covered in snow, looked as though she had been born to be dressed in skiwear. Sometimes I find myself wondering if there is a single article of clothing in this world that wouldn’t look good on her.

“In that case I’ll coach Mikuru through the motions while Harls, you take charge of the little sister! Kyon and everybody else can just ski around!”

Couldn’t ask for a better plan. It would take me a while to get the hang of skiing again. I glanced to my side real quick.

“…”

Nagato, stone-faced and with a firm grip on her poles, had already zoomed off without a hitch.

   

In the end my sister failed to learn anything. Wasn’t there something wrong with how Haruhi was teaching her?

“Line up your legs and push off hard with the poles like oomph and then off you go zoom and whoosh to accelerate and once you need to stop, just go roar. That should do the trick.”

It didn’t. If life were so simple, we would have developed cars that were perfectly environmentally friendly by now. Unfortunately, my sister was only able to extend the distance between tumbles from about a foot to a yard. Still, she seemed to be enjoying herself as she tumbled around all over the place and gleefully gobbled down snow, so I guess it really didn’t matter if she didn’t learn how to ski as long as she managed to entertain herself. And stop eating that stuff or you’ll end up with a stomachache.

Meanwhile, either Asahina had natural talent for skiing or Tsuruya was a brilliant instructor, since Asahina was able to master the art after thirty minutes.

“Whoa, whoa! This is fun. Wow, it’s amazing.”

A description of Asahina as she skied with a smile on her face against the white backdrop would probably drag, so I’ll try to summarize. It was like watching the descendant of a stylish snow woman suddenly appear in the modern world. An artistic masterpiece that was satisfying enough for me to make a U-turn and head home this very second. I would need to take a picture first, though.

Haruhi continued to direct sideways glances at Koizumi and me as we trained on our own, while she stared pensively at my sister, who was failing to make any progress at all. The look on her face clearly said that she was in a hurry to run up to the top of the mountain and race down, but she couldn’t take this fifth grader along for the ride.

Tsuruya must have been thinking the same thing.

“Harls, you guys can go ahead and ride the lift to the top!”

Tsuruya was helping up my sister, who was cheerfully waving her arms around after falling on her face again.

“I’ll take responsibility for looking after this girl! We can make a snowman if she likes! Sledding would also work! We can probably borrow one somewhere!”

“Are you sure?”

Haruhi watched as Tsuruya and my sister jostled with each other.

“Thanks. Sorry about this.”

“It’s no biggie! Well, little sister! Do you want a skiing lesson, a snowman session, or a sled ride?”

“Snowman!”

My sister gave her answer in a loud voice as Tsuruya laughed and began to remove her skis.

“Okay, snowman it is. We’re going to make a huge one. A huge one!”

The two of them immediately began to make a snowman while Asahina watched enviously.

“A snowman, huh? Ah, I might want to join them…”

“No.”

Haruhi swiftly placed a firm lock on Asahina’s arm before smiling at her.

“Our destination is the peak. We can all race. The first person to reach the foot of the slope will be granted the title General Winter. Let’s all try our best.”

I had a feeling that she wouldn’t let us stop until she won. That I could live with, but the idea of heading straight for the peak of the slope was a little scary. We should take this step by step.

Haruhi just snorted.

“Pathetic. It’s more fun to face these challenges head-on.”

And yet she actually decided to go with my idea, for once. First we would try the intermediate course, and save the main event, the expert course, for the very end.

“Let’s get on the lift. Yuki! We’re going now! Come back!”

Nagato had been gliding in wide arcs around us, but as soon as she heard Haruhi’s voice she turned back and made a perfect stop right next to me, shaving off a layer of snow in the process.

“We’ll be racing one another, okay? I got enough free lift passes for everybody, so we can go until the sun sets…no! We can keep going after the sun sets. Come now, everybody follow me.”

Don’t need you ordering us through every single action we take. And if I were to request permission to join the snowman team, I would probably be denied. Koizumi aside, if I left Nagato and Asahina alone with Haruhi when she went on a rampage, we’d instantly go from blizzard to ice age. There needed to be an objective supervisor around at all times. Not that I would claim to be a particularly objective person. Well, I wasn’t entirely sure what I was saying, and Koizumi would probably have an easy time picking apart my reasoning, so I gave up on that line of thought. After all, I stopped caring about that crap a long time ago.

All the members were safely here in one piece, the snow was nice and powdery so there weren’t any complaints in that department,