“You’re going to have them get on the train dressed like this?”

“Something wrong with that?” Haruhi replied, feigning innocence. “You might get arrested if you’re running around without anything on, but they’re fully dressed. Or what? Would you prefer the bunny-girl outfit? You should have told me earlier then. I wouldn’t mind changing it to ‘Combat Bunny (Tentative)’ if you’d like.”

Not sure you should be saying that after dragging her all the way here in a waitress outfit…. Anyway, didn’t you say that this was the concept for the movie? Not that I would know, but are you supposed to be able to change the concept just like that?

I worked my brain to try to get a glimpse of the feelings of the Creator.

“The most important thing is your ability to adapt to the situation. That’s how life on Earth was able to evolve. It’s adaptive selection. If you aren’t careful, you’ll end up eliminated through natural selection. You have to adapt properly!”

Adapt to what? If the environment had a mind of its own, I could see Haruhi being ejected out of the atmosphere.

Koizumi was just smiling and carrying stuff. Nagato was maintaining her silence as mentioned above. Asahina apparently lacked the strength to speak up. Which meant that everyone else was keeping their mouth shut.

I wish someone would do something.

Haruhi apparently took the silence to mean that everyone had been deeply impressed by her words.

“Come on, the train’s here. Walk fast, Mikuru. The real stuff’s yet to come.”

Like a police detective leading away a female perpetrator who had committed a murder for sympathetic reasons, she put her arm around Asahina’s shoulders and walked toward the ticket gate.

And we were there. We got off at the same station as the other day and headed for the same shopping district. I was beginning to have my suspicions when we really did stop in front of the same store as the other day. The electronics store where Haruhi had haggled for the video camera.

“We came as promised!” Haruhi shouted as she cheerfully walked in. The middle-aged guy appeared from the store interior and rested his eyes upon Asahina.

“Ho-ho.”

The guy stared at our lead actress with a grin on his face that could only be considered sexual harassment. Asahina was completely motionless, like a fighting-game character after using a super-move.

The guy continued speaking. “Is she the one from yesterday? I didn’t recognize her. Ho-ho. Then I’ll leave it to you.”

Leave what to us? I was in the process of reflexively moving forward to defend the quivering Asahina when Haruhi pushed me back.

“Okay. We’re going to have a meeting now, so listen up.”

And Haruhi made her announcement with the same smile she’d had right after winning the interclub relay.

“We will now begin shooting the commercial!”

“Th-this store… um… has a very friendly owner. And he’s a nice guy. This store has been around since when it was owned by the grandfather of the current owner, Eijirou. They carry everything from batteries to refrigerators. Um… Also, um…,” waitress Asahina forcedly recited in a deadpan voice with a twitching smile on her face. Nagato stood next to her holding a placard saying Ohmori Electronics as I watched the two of them through the video camera viewfinder.

Asahina had an impressively awkward smile on her face as she held a mike that wasn’t actually hooked up to anything.

Koizumi stood next to me holding up cue cards with a faint mocking smile on his face. The cue cards were just a sketchbook Haruhi had scribbled on a moment ago without giving it much thought. Koizumi was flipping through the pages as Asahina went through her lines.

We were in front of the store, still in the shopping district.

Haruhi leaned back in her director’s chair with her legs crossed as she watched Asahina’s acting with an intense look of concentration on her face.

“Okay, cut!”

She whacked the megaphone against her palm.

“There isn’t any emotion. I’m not sure why I can’t feel the vibes. It just, like, doesn’t have any oomph to it,” she said while biting her nails.

My reaction as I stopped the video camera was along the lines of “good grief.” Asahina also stopped with her hands clutching the mike. Nagato was stationary to begin with. Koizumi just smiled.

Behind us, people passing through the shopping district chattered curiously.

“Mikuru’s expression is too stiff. Your smile needs to be more natural. Think happy thoughts. Yeah, aren’t you feeling happy right now? You’ve been handpicked to be the star of the movie. You’re never going to experience anything happier in your life!”

I’d really like to tell her to go shove it.

If I had to summarize Haruhi’s conversation with the manager from yesterday, it would probably go something like this:

“I’ll stick a commercial for this store in the movie, so give me a video camera.”

“Sure.”

I’m pretty sure there’s something wrong with the manager for going along with Haruhi’s sweet-talk, but there is definitely something seriously wrong with Haruhi if she’s planning on screening a homemade movie with commercials. I’ve never heard of a leading actress doing a commercial in the middle of a movie. Maybe if you casually sneak something in the background during a scene of the movie, but this is just a feature-length commercial.

“I got it!” Haruhi was shouting to herself.

Could you please stop having these revelations?

“It’s kind of odd for a waitress to be at an electronics store.”

Weren’t you the one who brought the costume?

“Koizumi, hand me that bag. The small one.”

Haruhi took the paper bag from Koizumi and grabbed the hand of Asahina, who was looking relieved. Then she barged into the store.

“Manager! Do you have a room in the back we can change in? Yeah, anywhere will do. The bathroom’s fine. Really? Then we’ll borrow your storeroom.”

She casually disappeared into the back of the store with Asahina in tow. It appeared that poor Asahina no longer even had the strength to resist. She obediently allowed herself to be dragged forward by Haruhi’s ridiculous strength. It might just have been that she was willing to do anything if it meant getting out of that costume.

The rest of us—Koizumi, Nagato, and I—stood around with nothing to do. Nagato in her black attire hadn’t stirred an inch from her position of holding up the placard. She just stared at the video camera. I’m amazed her arms weren’t tired.

Koizumi smiled at me.

“It would appear that I won’t be making much of an appearance in this film. You see, I’m actually also acting in our class play. It was decided by a class vote. Which means that I am currently struggling to memorize my lines. I would prefer a role in this film with a minimal number of lines…. Hey! Why don’t you have a go at the lead role?”

“In any case, Haruhi’s the one holding authority as far as casting goes. Direct your ideas to her.”

“Do you believe me capable of such an incredible task? I, a mere actor, could not possibly bring myself to speak to the producer who is also the director. After all, Suzumiya’s orders are absolute. I don’t even want to imagine the sort of chastisement she would deliver if I were to disobey her.”

Neither do I. Isn’t that why I’m being her cameraman? And I’m not even shooting a movie. Just a local commercial film for a private store. The concept of being a good neighbor only goes so far.

The usual frenzied scene was probably occurring in the back of the store right then. The scene of Haruhi stripping a resisting Asahina as she pleased. I didn’t know what costume she was putting her in, but she could just wear it herself. She could probably give Asahina a run for her money in the looks department. Did she never consider making herself the star of the movie?

“Sorry for the wait!”

Of the pair walking back out, Haruhi was naturally still in her uniform. The other person’s appearance triggered a slide show of images in my mind. Yeah, it’s already been six months. Time sure flies. A lot sure has happened in the past six months. Baseball, a remote island, and all kinds of stuff. They’re all such fond memories now… Like hell they are.

The nostalgic original Mikuru Asahina costume, which Haruhi also wore at the school front gate. The overly revealing costume that became the talk of the school and left Asahina emotionally scarred.

The perfectly flawless bunny girl with flushed cheeks and moist eyes stood wobbling next to Haruhi, bunny ears swaying.

“Yep, absolutely perfect. Guess a bunny girl really is best for promoting merchandise,” Haruhi said incomprehensibly as she looked Asahina up and down with a satisfied smile. Asahina seemed completely miserable, as if her spirit were escaping through her half-opened mouth.

“Come on, Mikuru. Do it over from the top. I’m assuming that you’ve learned your lines by now. Kyon, rewind it to the very beginning.”

At this rate, nobody’s going to be listening to anything being said. I’m positive that everyone will have their eyes glued to Asahina in her bunny outfit. I hope they don’t burn a hole in the screen.

“And take two!” Haruhi shouted with a smack of her megaphone.

The electronics store commercial featuring a half-crying, half-smiling Asahina being completely manipulated by Haruhi was finally finished. It was like watching a foreign wrestler being manipulated by an evil manager.

But then, remember that we’d visited another sponsor earlier. No need to remember, I guess. Haruhi had been planning on another commercial for that sponsor to begin with.

Haruhi was walking through the center of the shopping district as she dragged along the bunny Asahina, who was releasing cute little squeaks and squeals. Trailing behind her like a ghost was Nagato, trudging along expressionlessly in her witch getup. Koizumi and I followed in suit.

My blazer was wrapped around Asahina’s shoulders in a feeble attempt to comfort her. It might be making her stand out more, though. This world is full of people with strange tastes. Not that I’m interested in this kind of thing by any means.

We reached the second stop, the model shop, and went through a repetition of the earlier proceedings. With all eyes on her, Asahina turned her teary eyes to me—in other words, the camera—and spoke.

“Th-this model shop was apparently opened last year after Keiji Yamatsuchi, twenty-eight, escaped his life as a white-collar worker. It coincided with his hobby… so he just kinda went for it…. Sure enough, he hasn’t experienced the sales growth he’d like. Growth rate for this year’s first term is about eighty percent of what it was for last year’s first term. The sales line graph is moving down and right… apparently! Everyone be sure to stop by!”

The trembling of Asahina’s voice made it sound like she didn’t mean a thing she was saying. At any rate, did Yamatsuchi, the manager, even okay this little speech? I’d expect this to just depress him. Who would want to be judged like that by a high school student?

The bunny girl was pointing the assault rifle that had been forced into her hands in an upward direction.

“You mustn’t fire this at people. Settle for shooting empty cans or something!”

Nagato was standing behind her holding a placard that read Yamatsuchi Model Shop with an unreadable expression on her face. It was a surreal sight. Since Ryoko Asakura looked like a normal person with emotions, I assumed that not all alien-made artificial humans acted like robots. Was Nagato’s lack of emotion by design?

Asahina then proceeded to point the rifle at some empty cans on the ground and opened fire.

“Eek—! I’m pretty sure it’ll hurt a lot if you get hit. Eek—!”

She even performed a demonstration by fearfully discharging the weapon, riddling the aluminum cans into beehives, which caused a stir among the peanut gallery. Her accuracy was only around ten percent though.

I was feeling pretty guilty about recording this kind of a scene onto a DV cassette tape. I felt like I should apologize to both Asahina and the person who’d developed this technology. He sure didn’t invent the video camera to record this crap.

And so we were done for the day once the stupid commercials were finished.

We returned to the school momentarily and lounged around the club room while Haruhi informed us of the schedule for the next stage of filming.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday and we have the day off, so we’re meeting up in the morning. Be in front of Kitaguchi station at nine. Got it?”

Incidentally, the commercials already ate up fifteen minutes of time. How long would the actual film be? If you screened some three-hour-long epic at a cultural festival, nobody would stick around to the very end. I doubt there’d be much of a turnout either.

I mulled this over in my mind as I watched a discouraged-looking Asahina. She’d been in a waitress outfit for the trip there, and then she’d been forced to wear her bunny-girl outfit on the train for the ride back before finally being allowed to change back into her uniform. She lifelessly collapsed onto the floor. At this rate, we’ll have to watch out for the lead actress falling asleep during filming.

I finished off the tea Koizumi had brewed in place of the exhausted Asahina.

“Hey, Haruhi. Can’t we do something about Asahina’s outfit? There’s gotta be something that looks more like something she could actually fight in. Like a combat uniform or camouflage fatigues?” I asked.

Haruhi waved the star-adorned antenna pointer in a reproachful fashion.

“That would kill the surprise when she starts fighting. A waitress doing the fighting gets you the wow factor. Grabbing the audience’s attention is key. It’s all about concept. Concept!”

Does she even know what “concept” means? I could only sigh.

“Yeah… I guess that works, but what’s the point in making her come from the future? Would it really matter if she wasn’t a time traveler?”

Asahina’s shoulders gave a violent shudder where she sprawled. Haruhi didn’t even notice or miss a step.

“We can work that all out later on. Just have to come up with an answer when someone brings it up.”

Didn’t I just bring it up? Give me an answer.

“If you can’t come up with an answer, just ignore them! Not like it even matters. It just has to be entertaining!”

“If it’s entertaining, sure. And what are the chances that this film you’re making will be entertaining? There’s no point in filming something that only entertains the director. Are you aiming for a Golden Raspberry nomination in the amateur category?”

“What’s that? I’m only after one thing. First place in the cultural festival best-event poll! And if possible, a Golden Globe. Which is why we need Mikuru to dress appropriately or else people will complain!”

I doubted anybody was going to complain. At any rate, from the look on Haruhi’s face, it would seem that the film that had left her enraged had obviously managed to win a Golden Globe at some point in time.

I sighed again and looked to my side. Clad in black, Nagato had parked herself in a corner of the room to engage in her usual reading. Yeah, is she going to die if she doesn’t read when she’s in this room or something?

“Wait.”

I realized something as I watched the book-loving alien.

“Hey, we haven’t gotten the script yet.”

Actually, we don’t even know what the story is yet. All we know is that Asahina is a waitress from the future, Koizumi is a boy esper, and Nagato is an evil alien mage.

“Don’t worry.”

I had no idea what Haruhi was trying to do, but she suddenly closed her eyes and thrust the tip of the star-adorned pointer at her temple.

“Everything’s in here. The script and storyboard are all worked out. You don’t have to do any thinking at all. I’ll plan out the camera work for you.”

Strong words. You’re the one who should refrain from thinking and just mindlessly stare out the window. If you had a more reasonable expression on your face, you could trade places with Asahina.

“Tomorrow’s the day. Tomorrow! Everyone get psyched up. The first step to winning glory is spiritual fortitude. That’s the fastest way to obtaining victory without spending money. Once your soul breaks free of its worldly bonds, latent abilities you never knew about will awaken and release incredible power. That’s right!”

Well, I can see that happening when the course of a battle is reversed through some unexpected turn of events in one of those fighting comics, but I’m pretty sure that no matter how much you talk about spiritual fortitude and nationalism, we’re a long way from witnessing the Japanese soccer team win the World Cup.

“Then that’s it for today! Look forward to tomorrow! Kyon, don’t forget about the camera, props, costumes, and other stuff. Make sure you’re on time!”

And with that said, Haruhi departed, swinging her bag heroically. As I listened to the Rocky theme fade off into the hallway, I bitterly glared at the pile of crap. I wondered which guild I was supposed to report this director’s oppression to.

Fact of the matter is, our school life up until this day had consisted of ordinary everyday happenings, with the exception of Haruhi’s abnormal passion for filmmaking being on the excessive side. If you went through every single school in the country, you could probably find another group of people doing something similar. Or to put it simply, this was “normal.”

No attacks by Nagato’s kind. No time traveling with Asahina. No glowing blue mold-like giants showing up. No murders leading to delayed revelations.

This was totally normal school life.

As the countdown to the approaching cultural festival progressed, Haruhi was on a high, riding a steady stream of adrenaline and racing like a pet hamster getting whipped into running Mach 1 on a wheel.

In other words, business as usual.

—Until this day, that is.

In retrospect, I’d have to say that Haruhi was still holding back. I realized that we had yet to shoot a single frame of the movie. The only footage recorded on the digital videotape was of bunny-girl Asahina promoting the electronics store and plastic model shop in the local shopping district, which only served to get sponsors. Not a glimmer of light had been shed on the film that would be produced, directed, and supervised by Haruhi. We didn’t even know the story line yet.

I guess we would have been better off not knowing.

I could have lived with a video of Asahina reporting on the local shopping district. Actually, wouldn’t that bring in a bigger audience? It’d also promote the local area. That’d be killing two birds with one stone. Yeah, why don’t we just turn it into a Mikuru Asahina promotional video. That’d make me a lot happier. Considering that’s my true motive as the cameraman.

Still, I knew that Haruhi would never be satisfied by that. She always carried through on her word. If she said she was gonna do it, she’d do it. She never gave up halfway through. A troublesome case of keeping one’s word.

And so, beginning the following day, we would once again find ourselves caught up in some bizarre business. Yeah, seriously. I’m at a loss for words. What was it that Haruhi said again?

Once your soul breaks free of its worldly bonds, latent abilities you never knew about will awaken and release incredible power—or something like that.

I see.

Haruhi?

Why did you have to be the one to one to experience that awakening?

And without you even realizing it.